This post is something I was working on many months ago about why celibacy is a solution to many problems. I was planning on making a book out of it but I’m not sure if people will read it or if I’ve said everything that I want to yet. So for the time being I’ll just post it on my blog because it’s been awhile since I’ve done any serious writing on here.
Celibacy: The Ultimate Solution
I believe that first an introduction is required both to tell you who I am and the reasons for writing this book.
My name is Chandler Isaac Klebs. I am a typical autistic savant who has great skills when it comes to computers, digital art, and video games, but at the same time lack the ability to talk with other humans except the extremely nerdy ones. Most of the time I work my job at the grocery store: Hy-Vee. The rest of the time I’m eating, using the bathroom, playing video games, or recording podcasts with my friends on Skype.
And every once in awhile, I write books too. My previous book is a 300 page book which contains the first 5 books I wrote. You can buy it from either the Litfire publishing company or from Amazon.
I’ll also send free copies of the PDF to those who email me and promise to write a review of the book and/or advertise it on their own website. My email address is: email@example.com
You’ll also find me on social media occasionally too perhaps on Facebook or my YouTube channel just by searching my name.
But that’s enough about me. It’s time to tell you why I am writing a book about Celibacy. I thought that I had said just about everything I would ever need to say about any subject in my 300 page book. However, I’ve recently been having wonderful talks with my co-host Monique Lukens who is my partner in the podcast named: “Celibate Vegan Voices”. You can easily listen to that podcast to hear all of my conversations with Monique.
The show was formerly called Celibate Vegan Compadres and so the links above still show that.
The podcast is great because we talk about everything you can imagine. However, I feel that a book also has some benefits that the podcast does not.
1. Deaf people can’t listen to podcasts.
2. The podcasts are long and contain personal details about me and Monique that are perhaps not important to the general public.
3. Some people really like to read.
And so, this book is my attempt at communicating some of the same ideas about celibacy as well as veganism that I’ve previously mentioned in the podcasts.
Celibacy: What is it?
Here is my simple definition of celibacy which is compatible with both what dictionaries say and is straight to the point.
The wikipedia page for celibacy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celibacy
states that celibacy is “Celibacy is the state of voluntarily being unmarried, sexually abstinent, or both”.
The specific definition I’m referring to is the sexually abstinent part. I don’t want to rule out the idea of people being married to each other who are sexually abstinent. So really the idea of sexual abstinence is only the avoidance of sexual intercourse. The topic of marriage is different entirely because I don’t think people can agree on what marriage even means. That may be a topic for a different book.
I use the words celibacy and abstinence interchangeably because they are really the same thing according to Wikipedia and some dictionaries.
However, I think both of these words are often misunderstood as being only for religious people. I think this is a terrible mistake given that celibacy/abstinence is great for anyone who wants to experience the benefits of avoiding sex or wants to avoid the harms that commonly happen as a result of sexual intercourse.
What’s Wrong With Sex?
I know that the subject matter of this book is going to strike people as either odd or offensive. To many people, sex is such a big part of their lives that the idea of being celibate for life is unthinkable! Obviously I am not one of those people. At times people accuse me of being insensitive to the “needs” of others. In fact I do not deny this.
Personally I find the idea that people can’t live without sex to be an equivalent statement to saying that they can’t live without meat. As far as I am aware, nobody ever died from lack of meat or sex.
People can eat fruits, vegetables, grains, and nuts, or any other plant based diet instead of eating meat.
In the same way, there are people who live without sex for many years. Some of them remain a virgin for life, which is of course my goal personally. I’m not the only one either. Usually you’ll find priests, nuns, or monks of certain religions that believe celibacy to be the ideal standard. However I’m sort of a rarity because my reasons for this are not tied to any specific religion. So at this point, people are probably wondering why someone would want to be celibate. I will attempt to explain.
This book is meant to spell out the harms that come from having sex and the benefits that come from not having sex. As counterintuitive as it may seem, I believe this to be an ethical philosophy of life that will help many people.
For the purposes of this book, I advocate celibacy for these 2 reasons.
1. Celibacy prevents pregnancy.
2. Celibacy prevents the spread of Sexually Transmitted Diseases.
I believe these reasons are sufficient, even though there are some other reasons as well. If however you are trying to get pregnant or want to infect yourself or someone else with a disease, then celibacy is probably not for you. This book will contain some very controversial topics and is probably not the best type of book to read to your children. You may find it interesting or you may possibly want to shoot me after reading this. If however you are still curious, then read on and enjoy!
Is Masturbation Celibate?
Some people believe that masturbation is also a form of sexual activity that must be avoided if you call yourself celibate or abstinent. However, I do not think this is the case.
First, celibacy is about avoiding sexual intercourse. If you are avoiding using genitals with another person then you still qualify as celibate.
Whatever you do with your genitals by yourself is your business alone because it’s not affecting anyone else. You also cannot give yourself a sexually transmitted disease that you don’t already have. You also cannot get pregnant from it.
To sum it up, people can still call themselves celibate even if they masturbate. Also, I find it rude to ask people if they masturbate. I can think of many times when people have asked me if I masturbate. My thought is “Why do you care?”.
At the same time, I’m not at all afraid to answer these questions. I’m not ashamed or guilty for the fact that I do masturbate sometimes. People are sometimes confused by this because I identify as both celibate and asexual.
The truth is, masturbation is often the only way to avoid those erections that rudely interrupt me while I’m trying to sleep, play Minecraft, or even while I’m working. My erections are quite painful and happen at the most inconvenient times.
I’ve discovered that by rubbing the penis at the right frequency is all that is required for the stuff to squirt out and afterwards erections don’t happen for 24 to 48 hours afterward. I view masturbation as one of those unpleasant things that I must do to get my penis to leave me alone so that I can do the things I need to do in my life. I compare it to urination since it’s really all coming out of the same organ.
That’s all there is to say about masturbation. If you get some benefit out of it then there is nothing wrong with doing it. Now that I’ve written this, never again will I need to speak on this matter. Next time somebody asks, I’ll tell them to buy this book if they really feel they need to know whether or not I masturbate.
What About Homosexuality?
Homosexuality is an interesting concept because of the fact that no matter what two people of the same gender do together, it won’t result in pregnancy. I suppose that there is still the harm of spreading diseases through whatever homosexuals do. However, because I am not homosexual and am really unfamiliar with it, for the purposes of this book, I am advocating the avoidancy of sexual intercourse only in the traditional sense of heterosexual intercourse.
What About Sterilization?
Another option available to people who don’t want to procreate is sterilization. I did some searching online and found out that there is Vasectomy for men and Tubal Ligation for women. Vasectomy blocks the sperm from coming out of the man and Tubal Ligation blocks the eggs from coming out of the fallopian tubes.
Both of these methods according to the websites I looked at are very effective. They are not 100% effective however and additionally having such operations could cost a lot of money to have done. However I do mention it as being an option for people who like sex so much that they won’t agree to celibacy and they don’t fear the risks of surgery.
Sterilization is sort of a second-best solution when compared to celibacy because celibacy has no risks or financial cost. However, I would also like to point out that I still consider it a far superior option than abortion and therefore think that sterilization should be available to anyone who asks for it.
I have read some stories online of women who wanted sterilization but doctors refused to do it for them. The result of course is that those women get pregnant and have abortions instead. For this reason it seems that anyone who wants to prevent abortion must also support sterilization as an option.
Celibacy as a Vegan
While it may not be obvious to the average person. Celibacy and Veganism should always go together. I’m talking about ethical veganism. Veganism is not a diet but a way of life driven by the desire not to hurt and kill animals.
The main reason celibacy is required to be a true ethical vegan is because celibacy is the only 100% effective way to avoid pregnancy. This is important for 3 reasons.
1. Pregnancy harms women
The obvious truth is that in almost all cases, pregnant women are sick and miserable throughout most of their pregnancy. To top it all off, there is the extreme pain they go through giving birth to the child at the end. Needless to say one of the worst ways to hurt a woman is to get her pregnant. It is a cruel act for a man to engage in sexual intercourse with a woman for this very reason.
2. The children will be harmed.
Anyone who has lived for very long knows that there is much pain in this world. Each new child brought into the world will suffer at the hands of other humans. Aside from that there are diseases and natural disasters there to hurt them even if the rest of the human race doesn’t hurt them. Given that life is full of this suffering, it would be safe to say that many often wish they had never been in existence. This isn’t always the case because for some people, the pleasure they gain from being alive is greater than the pain they receive. I do believe there are genuine cases of people who are mostly happy, but I’m also convinced that they are a minority. I think it’s unethical to play the lottery of life in this way.
3. The children may grow up to be carnists.
Even though vegans have tried their best to avoid eating or otherwise using animal products to avoid funding the torture and killing of the animals. Some of these same people will also procreate and release children who will end up being part of mainstream society. They will usually follow the patterns of their culture and join in the usual customs which involve buying and eating lots of meat and dairy. If this happens then their vegan parents will regret having ever brought the child into existence.
Of course it’s true that vegan parents will raise their children to be vegans. However this is no guarantee that it will make a difference. Consider that almost all vegans had carnist parents. Children don’t do what their parents wish.
So to briefly sum it up. The act of sexual intercourse must be avoided at all costs under the worldview of an ethical vegan because these three categories of harm will follow in most cases. Not everyone will accept this statement because it seems so contrary to the way people live, but I’m convinced that it’s logically valid.
I know that some people will advocate having sex but using various methods of birth control. This is understandable but at the same time also requires that those methods of birth control are 100% effective at preventing pregnancy and also do not transmit diseases. Otherwise, you still run the risk of causing harm, which is generally not something a vegan wants to do.
Are you an Anti-Natalist?
There are some who describe me as anti-natalist, but I generally avoid using the term to apply to myself. According to wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antinatalism
“Antinatalism, or anti-natalism, is a philosophical position that assigns a negative value to birth. The term is in opposition to the term natalism.”
The term literally means “anti-birth”. I’m not against people being born. I’m just against the idea that they should have been conceived in the first place. Once they are conceived, I think they should be born. After all, they can’t just stay inside their mother forever. I also don’t support abortion either. Abortion is just killing the child before birth but doesn’t actually stop birth. Because almost all anti-natalists promote abortion as morally good, I avoid using this label to myself to avoid confusion.
Perhaps a far more accurate term to call me would be anti-sexual. I think there could be misunderstandings with that term too, but my hope is that this book will help clarify any misunderstandings that may arise from my generally negative views on sex.
Celibate Benefit 1: Celibacy Costs nothing!
One of the often overlooked benefits of celibacy is the simple fact that it doesn’t cost any money. When compared with the many costs of sexual activity.
If you’re not having sex in the first place, then there are some things that you will never spend money on.
Birth control pills
Medical Treatments for Sexually Transmitted Diseases
One thing that I found extremely interesting was that abstinence was listed as one of the methods of birth control on the Planned Parenthood website.
Specifically it mentions under the heading “What Are the Benefits of Abstinence?”:
– has no medical or hormonal side effects
– is free
Additionally, considering that a celibate or abstinent person will also not be spending money on raising children and they also will not be paying for abortion either. So in every possible way, the avoidance of sex will save people money that they otherwise would have spent. This allows them to pay bills or buy food with that money instead.
Celibate Benefit 2: More Time for Yourself
Aside from saving you money, celibacy will also save you a lot of time. If you’re not having sex, you don’t need to go hunt somebody down and talk them into having sex with you. You may instead watch a movie, play video games, ride a bike, eat some broccoli, build a snowman or sandcastle, or anything else you want to do in all the extra time you’ll have that most people are spending trying to figure out who to have sex with and fit it in their schedule.
Celibacy as an Atheist
Celibacy and Atheism have something in common. Both are defined as the lack of something. Celibacy being a lack of sexual intercourse and atheism being a lack of belief in gods.
Aside from that there isn’t any strong connection between atheism and celibacy. However I do think that atheism makes celibacy easier. Atheists don’t have the “be fruitful and multiply” commandment that Christians and Jews have.
And so I suspect that there are other celibate atheists in the world besides me even though they are rare.
But I think that’s all I have to say about that. One of the benefits of both celibacy and atheism is that they take so little of your time.
Celibacy Benefit 3: Knowledge of True Love
This benefit may sound a little bit silly to the general public, but I’ve thought it through for some time and I will explain why I believe the celibate person has a unique opportunity to know whether they love someone or not. Most people only date or get married for the purpose of having sexual intercourse with somebody. Because sex is their #1 priority, other concerns are usually pushed out of the way. They don’t actually need to love the person.
Now keep in mind that I’m still confused about the topic of love. In fact I don’t even like the word “love” very much because when you look it up in a dictionary, one of the definitions is having sexual intercourse. So if you view love and sex as synonymous, then I guess that means that I hate you because I’m not having sex with you.
But the important thing is that a celibate person will do something for another person without expecting to be repaid with sexual favors. This is important in the sense of being altruistic. I think that true love is helping someone else without caring about whether you get a reward for it.
Celibacy as a Christian
I’m no longer a Christian but I was up until the summer of 2013. There were many reasons I quit believing in it, but this is the first time I have explained how the issue of sexuality was a major part of it.
First, consider that the Christian God is claimed to be the all powerful creator who created everything including sex and the reproductive system.
Second, consider that the core of Christianity is that you must believe a certain set of beliefs or possibly live according to a certain system of rules. If you don’t do this just right, you end up burning for eternity in a pit of fire called hell. God is also the designer of this place and apparently wanted to make sure there was a place where people could suffer forever.
Third, most Christian parent have sex while knowing there is an extremely high chance that their child will possibly end up in hell. How can anyone do this? My explanation is that most of them don’t think about the implications of their afterlife beliefs because they are busy being hormonal and sexual.
Now I must clarify that not all those who call themselves Christians believe in the existence of hell. Some think that everybody goes to a place of bliss called heaven when they die. However those people are of an entirely different type and are irrevelant to everything I said above.
However, the lack of agreement on which people go to heaven or hell and based on what criteria is a big part of what showed me that there is no real standard or foundation upon which to call myself a Christian. And so, I quit calling myself a Christian and am still not sure if there is a word that describes me, but it’s enough to say that back when I was still a protestant Christian, I was already committed to being celibate for life to avoid my hypothetical children from going to hell.
So it seems to me that mainstream Christianity implies that everyone ought to be celibate in order to avoid the creation of souls/ghosts who magically suffer in some place designed by a sadistic dude named God.
But no, it’s really not the case. Christians are reproducing like crazy without thinking about the consequences of their belief system!
Celibacy as the Solution to the Abortion Debate
The abortion topic is controversial and full of contradictions on both the pro-life and pro-choice side.
The problem with the pro-choice or pro-abortion side is that it promotes the act of murdering the unborn. For some people this is not a problem. Some of them justify this based on the “lesser of the two evils” philosophy. For example: They might say that it is better for that child to die now rather than experience greater suffering later such as abuse by the parents who don’t want it or starvation because they are born into a poor family. Others however say that abortion is a woman’s unquestionable right. So if she wants to kill her child, she doesn’t even need to provide a reason for it.
On the flip side, you have the pro-life or anti abortion side who views abortion as wrong because it is murder of a child. Some want to make it illegal while others don’t. However they are united among the general idea that there really isn’t a significant difference between killing the born or the unborn.
At this point everyone who has read my past writing knows I fall into the anti-abortion side. So I’ll admit my bias here. But I’m not going to rant about the pros and cons of these two opposing sides. Instead, I only want to point out that the more obvious and overlooked solution is to avoid getting women pregnant in the first place!
Some prevent pregnancy by various means of contraception. There are numerous methods each with their benefits and risks. However, as far as I know, celibacy or abstinence is the only 100% effective way to make sure sperm never reaches an egg and starts the development of a new child.
If a 100% effective method of contraception becomes available that still allows people to enjoy sex without the harm of creating children that they don’t want, then the abortion debate will be solved in that way.
But until then, celibacy is the only solution. It’s the ultimate solution because it is available to anyone at no financial cost and prevents the need for anyone to debate about the morality or legality of killing unborn babies.
As far as I know, people who are committed to celibacy are exceptionally rare. To help them find each other, Monique Lukens has created the following Facebook group.
Penetration & Sex-fluid free for life Holistic, Spirtual, Logical, Vegans
And there is another Facebook group with over 4700 members!
And there is a Celibate Sidekick page which is modeled after the Vegan Sidekick page.
Other websites which may be useful for the celibate or asexual.
If you know of more places where celibate people can go to chat with people but escape from the sexual people of the world, then please let me know so I can update this list.