Abortion prevention: don’t forget about the men

This is a post that I submitted to Kelsey Hazzard at Secular Pro-Life


I encourage everyone to go to the link and comment there. Also Kelsey put a funny picture of a pregnant looking man. However, for convenience of those who subscribe to my wordpress blog, I have also copied the text here.

Abortion prevention: don’t forget about the men

Consider this situation: A man chooses to have sex with a woman who he knows will go for an abortion if she gets pregnant. She does get pregnant. She goes to an abortionist, who performs the abortion. Which of the three people killed the baby? The father, mother, or abortionist?

It should be obvious that all three people played a part in the abortion. So no matter what your answer, you are partially correct. The father chose to do the one thing that could result in a pregnancy the mother did not want. The mother chose to abort rather than seeking out alternatives. The abortionist was the final step in causing the death of the baby.

Keeping all of that in mind, if you could go back and talk to one of the people—the father, mother, or abortionist—and convince them to become pro-life, which one would you choose?

Again, there’s no one right answer, but I would pick the father. Talking to the abortionist could have a major impact if he’s the only abortionist in town and has no one to replace him, but otherwise, the mother will just go elsewhere for the abortion. Of course talking to the mother is good because if her mind changes, the child will live. But will she have the support of the father? He had expected the mother to have an abortion even before they had sex, which implies that he has no interest in taking care of the child.

Talking to the father makes sense because he has the power to change his ways and stop creating children who will be killed. He also has the ability to support the mother in taking care of the children he is responsible for, making the mother less likely to want to abort. Many women abort due to fear of being a single mother.

Outreach to women in crisis pregnancy situations is great, but we need to make sure we’re reaching the men too, rather than placing all of the weight on the women. The idea that men are irrelevant to the abortion debate is incredibly misguided.

What pro-choice arguments sound like.

“Yes I’m pro-choice. That’s why I believe every man has the right to rape a woman if that is his choice. After all, it’s his body and neither you nor I have the right to tell him what to do with it. He’s free to choose and it’s none of our business what choice he makes. We have no right to impose our morals on him. Whether I like the choice or not, he should have the freedom to make his own choices.”  – Randy Alcorn

The above quote is a perfect example of how pro-choice arguments sound to pro-life advocates. They question is not whether we have a right to choose, but WHAT we have a right to choose!

Why the spider is relevant

In my life I have killed many spiders. In the past, the usual thing I did without thinking was to find a kleenex box and smash the spider. But this time was different.

After explaining my pro-life philosophy to people, I could not justify simply killing an innocent spider just for being on the kitchen floor. I can’t call it self-defense since the spider was not attacking me.

I also could not leave it there and go about my usual business. It could quite possibly bite me or my mother while we are asleep. I had to get it out of the apartment, but I did not want to kill it.

What I did was take a paper towel, grab the spider, and quickly run to the door and throw the paper towel outside. In the morning, my mother was wondering why there was a paper towel outside. I explained why I can’t be pro-life and then kill a spider.

The average person may not see a problem with killing spiders, but when I put myself in the spider’s place, I think that I would not want someone to smash me with a giant kleenex box. I suppose being wrapped in a giant paper towel would also be a scary experience, but it was the less violent of the options. I learned to be relevant to the spider and consider what it might prefer.

When I inspected the paper towel in the morning, I did not see the spider. Surely it walked somewhere else. I will remember this event as the time when I solved a problem in a non-violent way.

Why pro-choice atheists are irrelevant

I am a pro-life advocate, but I am not an atheism advocate. The reason is that atheism is a lack of belief, but being pro-life is an actual belief that life is relevant, true, and good. Usually atheists believe that their life on earth is the only one they get. This means that they should think twice before killing anything. The fact that those claiming to be atheists are mostly pro-choice seems impossible to me. Something is wrong.

If atheism was an actual belief system, it could be checked for validity. Instead, I have the challenge of watching individual people who claim to be atheists. Do their words match their actions? Are they truly freethinkers or do they make the mistake of siding with popular opinion?

I understand why some theists might be pro-choice if they have been convinced that murder is God’s will, but for atheists, it is a whole different story. Since atheists don’t have a God telling them what to do, they have the potential to do things that theists can’t do. Some of these things are good and others are bad.

I am disappointed to see that relativism has infected both theists and atheists. The key difference for the atheist is that they don’t have a God to blame their actions on when they do something wrong. This makes them MORE responsible for all their actions. This is something I remember in everything I do.

I think of morality as being something that is based in reality. The Golden Rule is the standard I go by. The reason is because not only is it nice, but also because it is the only thing that makes sense!

If I consider the life of other people to be as relevant as my own, then I don’t kill them. If I kill myself, I don’t live long enough to kill someone else. I don’t understand those who kill other people and then themselves. If they would just start with themselves, then no one’s choice is violated.

Aside from the Golden Rule, there is another rule that I live by. If an action is one that can’t be undone, I should either NOT do it, or I need to have a REALLY GOOD REASON for it. Some things can be reversed and others can’t.

When someone steals something, it is bad, but if they can give it back, then the damage is reversed. If they lie, they will lose trust, but they may be able to tell the truth before more damage is done. In those cases, the damage is reversible. When someone kills someone, they have no way of bringing them back to life. This means that killing is the ULTIMATE irreversible act.

The entire point of being an atheist is that it does not actually define who I am. It only defines what I am not. It strips away all presuppositions so that I can find meaning in my life without needing other sources to tell me what it is.

Not all information is useful and there are motivations for deceiving people. Atheists who hold the pro-choice position on abortion need to stop their hypocrisy. Being pro-choice about things involving life and death means that life does not matter enough to you. If life does not mean anything, then you might as well let the world be run over by those annoying theists who force their God on you.

Avoid the relativism that says that it does not matter what you believe or do. It tells us to be so “tolerant” that we stop asking questions or thinking about things that matter. If this is the only life that we have, then pretending that all truth is relative to an individual means that truth exists only in the minds of the living and then dies. This is why I care about standards that apply equally to life everywhere.

I do not want to let fear control my life anymore. For me, being an atheist means that no God, scientist, philosopher, or king has the right to stop me from telling the truth. They can stop me by killing me, but in the end, they would only be showing their weakness. I find great humor in the way that every time someone comes along and tells people not to kill people, it isn’t long before somebody kills them.

I am convinced that protecting life is the most rational thing that anyone can do. This applies to atheists even more because they can’t expect God to resurrect everyone and make everything right. Many atheists protect their own lives at any cost, but deny the relevance of other people when they see them as a threat. This is mostly based on fear. I want to bridge the gap between theists and atheists.

To help theists understand why I have my own problems with the majority of the atheists, I need to explain that atheists also have “gods” that dictate to them what is right or wrong. Whatever they place their trust in is what they will defend in the same way that theists defend their gods.

If they are trusting in money, then everything becomes about getting money. If this means killing, lying, or stealing, then they WILL do it at the first chance. This can lead to the destruction of many lives. The worst part is that all the work people do at earning money will be completely irrelevant when they die. This is the greatest tragedy of all.

With the knowledge that money does not exist, but life does, it only makes sense to be pro-life rather than pro-money. A pro-money position usually becomes a pro-death position.

As far as whether a creator named God exists, I will let other people fight about that. In daily life, I do not see God, but every day I see the words “In God we trust” . It is written on the paper and metal people refer to as money. There seems to be a relevance between God and money.

When humans choose to murder other humans or other animals. They often say “It is okay to kill because: money.” or “It is okay to kill because: God.”. What then is the difference between God and money? What is it that people put their “trust” in.

The fact that I am not 100 percent sure that God or money exist outside of human brains means that I cannot trust in either. I cannot serve God or money. What then do I serve?

I serve relevance over irrelevance, truth over falsehood, good over bad, life over death.

I trust in what I have seen with my own eyes, heard with my own ears, and touched with my own hands.

By these rules I have chosen, I am convinced that even if I don’t stay an atheist, I will stay pro-life.

Why pro-life atheists are relevant

The direction of my life changed when I found out that there were many pro-life atheists out there. Looking back, I wonder why I assumed that there were none. Christopher Hitchens was the first I knew about but there are many others. With the power of the internet, I plan to learn all I can about what they are doing.

Finally theists and atheists found something that they can agree on! The reason I choose to write about pro-life atheism is because it is something that people are not as educated about. It was also a revelation to me that belief in supernatural invisible people in no way changes how someone feels about life.

There was a day when I first encountered the website: “http://www.numberofabortions.com/”. Faced with the information of just how bad it was, I could no longer stay silent about it. I would never forgive myself if I did. On that day I decided that there was no possibility of changing this problem by debate, prayer, or protest. People have already done those things for years and yet it has not stopped over one billion babies from being killed. That is not even counting the illegal uncounted abortions. Few people are honest enough with themselves to admit that this is a problem which affects them and that will not go away by ignoring it.

Most of the people in the pro-life movement have been Christians who have damaged their own efforts by teaching that those who do not belief in their God or Jesus in the correct way are going to burn in an eternal fire called hell.

The idea that somehow believing a certain religious doctrine determines an afterlife is offensive to all who had not chance to even hear of it. Think of all those who have died before birth in an abortion or miscarriage. Because of the irrationality of such a claim, I have decided that I place higher value on action than belief. I also can not even think of a way that an afterlife is possible or something that I want. I don’t want myself or anyone else to be tortured after death anymore than I want them tortured in this life.

I have meditated on the meaning of my life and have decided that my life is an awkward stage between conception and death. I do not take it as seriously anymore now that I know I will not get out of it alive.

I desire that theist pro-lifers unite with the atheist pro-lifers instead of fighting about the existence of a God or gods. I got bored with such irrelevant debates. No longer can humanity afford to waste time and money on such things.

My opinion is that pro-life atheists are relevant to me in my personal fight against abortion because they often are more honest and have learned more about science and history than other people allow themselves to.

Becoming an atheist, agnostic, or deist will not change their opinion on abortion. I learned this when I accidentally became a pro-life atheist. If the other pro-life atheists all “come out of the closet”, the world will see a change.

Here are some links to things other pro-life atheists have written.




Why Lila Rose is relevant

In my search for pro-life websites, I came across “liveaction.org”. It will take a long time before I will be able to look at all the website has to offer.

The founder of the Live Action is a woman named Lila Rose. What is inspiring about her is that she is actually younger than I am and yet she has done so much in the pro-life movement. She visited abortion clinics and pretended to be a 14 year old who was seeking an abortion. In doing this, she discovered all the illegal and dishonest actions of abortionists. By recording videos of the conversations she had with abortion clinic staff, she has exposed these lies to the world. I have to admit that I am very glad that she and her organization does undercover investigations.

Those who are performing, promoting, or even allowing abortion to continue are dishonest with themselves. Lila Rose is someone who does not seem to have the same limitations of fear that other people do. I see her as quite possibly one of the craziest people I have ever seen, but it is crazy people who change the world. Lila does not seem to care much about what people think of her. This is exactly why I respect her so much. Here are some links where you can read more about her story.

Lila Rose speaks at 2012 National Right to Life Convention

Lila Rose tells youth at pro-life rally that they can make a difference in ending the injustice of abortion

Why life is relevant

Obviously, life is relevant to me because I am alive. I think the fact that I am alive is self-evident. This is not the case with everyone because some people argue about what life is.

Is life simply the same as existing? If so, then everything that exists is alive. Is it the same as moving? In that case whatever moves is alive.

My definition of life would match very closely the definition of relevance. If something is relevant, related, connected, or linked to something, it means that it makes a difference. That is why I am an activist. When someone says they are active, the question that someone is bound to ask is “What are you active about?”.

Everyone alive is active about something. When one activity ends, another begins. I am sure that I will always have something to be active about. My primary goal right now is ending worldwide abortion.

I refuse to live in a world that says that people must be killed whenever they are inconvenient. This irrationality is exactly what leads to war. It is the source of all forms of discrimination.