Chapter 7: The Knowledge of Good and Evil


Chastity and the search for love

The following is a chapter from part 3 of my unicorn story. Eventually all 3 parts will be combined into a published book. I do not usually have time for my writing but I suffered a bad knee injury at work and cannot return to work for awhile.

This chapter contains a lot of history of the time when I joined the Navy. Most of this has never been told before.

Chapter 7: The Knowledge of Good and Evil

C: Honesty, we have talked about the importance of doing the right thing and learning from the reasons that we act as we do, but how do I know for sure which is the right thing to do when it is not always clear?

H: Can you give an example of a time when it was unclear what you should do about something?

C: Yes, I remember very clearly the time…

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Chandler’s Honesty Part 2: Chandler and a Unicorn talk Religion


Chastity and the search for love

Chandler’s Honesty Part 2: Chandler and a Unicorn talk Religion

Chapter 0: Confusion

Chandler was confused. He was confused about many things. At 31 years of age, he was still wondering who he was. He knew what he could do. He worked at Hy-Vee and took dance lessons. He also experimented with computer programming and geometric art. He was happy about the things he could do well but there was something that annoyed him. He had certain thoughts about his identity. Was he merely the sum of the things he could do or was he something beyond that?

One night, as he went to sleep, he wished for someone he could talk to about his thoughts that would not criticize him and freak out. He had come to face some of his greatest fears once before in another dream where he had met a unicorn that was surprisingly wise. No…

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Chandler’s Honesty Part 1: Chandler Meets A Unicorn


Chastity and the search for love

The Following is part 1 of a story I wrote most likely around 2017 and 2018. The chapters were written at different times in my life as I had difficult struggles to overcome. No human could ever have been as helpful as Honesty the Unicorn of Truth.

To make sure this story is not lost. I am making it public for the first time. I have been much too busy to write much in the past year but I think this is a story that must be told, because it is the truth, and the truth about who I am and how I really felt back then is what set me free.

Chandler’s Honesty Part 1: Chandler Meets A Unicorn

Chapter 0: Something is Missing

Chandler Klebs was an old man. At least he felt old. He was 31 years old and had a good job and was involved in…

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Programming without the Mouse using Vim


Chastity and the search for love

I have achieved a major milestone. I can now work on my programming even when my mouse fails! Vim is a great text editor with syntax highlighting that also allows for running commands! In my case I use :!make to run the script that compiles and runs my code!

My “Infinity Checkerboard” project has come very far from what it was. I can do incredible things as I learn more of the SDL library. Although this game does not contain much, the source code is very small and only requires the base SDL library with no extensions and a working C compiler.

I hope that others benefit from this video both as an example of the power of SDL and the C programming language but also as an example of using Vim as a text editor.

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The Testicle Testimony Part 2


Chastity and the search for love

I had my orchiectomy after a long fight of trying finding a doctor willing to do it. After Andrew Wright refused to help me, the psychologist who had written my referral letter then referred me to Hospital Hill KC Urology clinic. It was there on 7-16-2020 that I met Dr. Hadley Wyre. He listened to my story and was willing to help me. We scheduled surgery for 9-17-20 and I was feeling pretty good. However it was during this time that the Covid-19 lockdowns and mask mandates were happening. My work performance suffered because I could not breath enough oxygen while required to wear a mask. I was afraid of getting fired because of this and was in a real panic mode for those two months before surgery that I would not be able to get the surgery done if I lost my job and health insurance, or if I…

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CDC Mask-Wearing Policy Not Supported by Science


Chastity and the search for love

This is a really good article explaining the reasons behind why mask wearing does not help much and may actually harm us. I know from experience how it has hurt my work performance, given me unbearable headaches, and made me feel too weak to lift the boxes I have to because I have no oxygen.

https://jennifermargulis.net/cdc-mask-wearing-policy-not-supported-by-science/

I still remember this video when Fauci had previously said people should not be wearing masks and explained some of the reasons. That was the last time I agreed with him before he and the CDC changed their opinion on masks.

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Suicide and the Right to Life and Death


Chastity and the search for love

The topic of suicide has recently been on my mind due to the death of a coworker by suicide.

Miguel Raymond Gonzales
https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/kansas-city-mo/miguel-gonzales-9260507

I didn’t know him very well but I did see him at work every day. Last thing I remember was when we were talking about being unable to breath because of the mask requirement and he said something about it being harder for him because he had Scoliosis. He could also have been in physical pain and maybe this could have been part of what drove him to end his life. I don’t know for a fact, I can only guess because I was not there with him.

But suicide is one of the hardest of all topics to talk about, so most simply don’t ever bring it up. This is because when someone commits suicide, friends and family often wonder what the cause was, wonder if…

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The Testicle Testimony


Chastity and the search for love

The Testicle Testimony

For over two years I have had pain in my testicles and have been to different doctors and explained my situation over and over. Each time I have been unable to get the help I need.

To save myself time I have written the following story of what has happened and why I must get the surgery I need.

The pain began following a bike incident in which my testicles were crushed by the weight of my body on the seat of my bike.

I know from ultrasounds as well as from what I have felt with my hands that I have a varicocele and restricted blood flow in the cords attached to my testicles especially on the left side.

Because the nature of my condition is rare and also because of who I am and the life I want to live, the solution is very simple…

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Still making checkerboards


Chastity and the search for love

There are infinite ways to create a checkerboard and I do so both with my programming as well as in games like Minecraft.

Here is my gigantic 32x32x32 checkerboard in Minecraft made with heavy use of commands. It would be possible to build it in survival mode as well although it will take me much longer.

I also continue my Binary Bit Map project as I find time. Here a few samples I’ve posted previously on this blog of what I can do.

BBM_logo_roll_left4 checkerboard rolls

Tonight I found a genius way to do star polygons by drawing several smaller triangles to a temporary image, using the scan fill function, and then bitwise ORing them to the destination image. This gives me the filled in pentagrams and hexagrams exactly the same as they would look when I create them in inkscape but also allows for the gif animations I uploaded to my social…

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Revised Dandelion


The following is a story I wrote years ago. My friend Poffo finished the story with a happy ending.
(Original by Chastity)
Once upon a time, there was a garden full of trees,grass and flowers. Every kind of plant and animal lived there. The plants grew every day because sunlight,water,and dirt were never hard to find. One day all of that changed. Humans came and built a city. They cut down the trees,shot the animals and killed all of them that didn’t run away fast enough. The humans also built roads over much of the grass and flowers. There was still a lot of beauty to be seen there for some time but it was nothing like before. The flowers were still there and wished they could do something before they were destroyed too. However, the flowers could not speak the language of the humans nor could they run away like the animals. They knew it would only be a matter of time before the humans would continue their destruction. The humans didn’t call it destruction. They called it construction, progress, growth, prosperity, improvement and any other word that meant the complete opposite of what they were doing. They built houses,stores,restaurants,and churches. Every time they built something new, they cut down anything that they thought was in their way. This included more trees,flowers and grass. There were many things on wheels which the humans called “cars”. They would roll and move on the roads and parking lots the humans had built. They air soon became polluted and stinky with the smell of gasoline. Even the flowers which had still survived died off slowly without any clean air or water. However, one of the flowers spread it’s seeds one day. It’s seeds were special because each had a white parachute that carried it as far as the wind could take it. Most of them blew away for many miles. The mother flower hoped that they could find a place to land that was safe where they could grow and enjoy clean water,air,and sunlight.
The following is the story of what happened to one of those seeds. It landed in the back yard behind a house. The seed didn’t know where it landed or what it was supposed to do. However, there is only one thing a seed knows how to do. It sent a root into the ground under it and slowly dug its way deeper and deeper every day. It was eating and drinking whatever it could find. Eventually, the seed was no longer seed. It had not only grown downward but also up toward the sun. By this time, it could be seen from the surface. It was what humans call a dandelion. It was a yellow flower that looked almost exactly like the sun. This flower didn’t know that it was called a dandelion nor could it see itself. It just did what flowers do. It enjoyed the light and heat of the sun and grew stronger every time the sun was out or the rain fell.
The humans who lived in that house weren’t in the back yard much but every so often, a man would come with a noisy machine. He would push it and it cut down grass and everything in it’s path. It cut the dandelion also. The yellow flower was beheaded every time this happened. However, it was never completely gone because its roots and some of the stem were never harmed from what happened on the surface. It grew back in only a short time and was a flower enjoying the sunlight again.
But the man with the lawnmower came out every week and cut everything. The dandelion was confused. Why was there sun,rain,and dirt to help it grow. It seemed useless since clearly nobody wanted it to be there. It was tired of being cut and didn’t know when it would happen next. There were also earthworms in the dirt. The tunnels they dug gave the roots of the dandelion more room to grow. Overtime the dandelion became jealous of the worms. They could travel in the dirt and go where they wanted but the dandelion had to stay where it was. It could not walk like a human or wiggle like a worm. It sometimes wished that it could be a worm and stay down in the dirt where it was safe from humans.
There were other strange things the dandelion didn’t understand. The family who lived in the house as well as the neighbors would complain that the sun was too hot or that they didn’t want it to rain. They stayed in their house most of the time and didn’t like any of the things that helped the dandelion grow. None of it made sense. What were these creatures? Why did they want to kill it and the grass? How did they live without water,sunlight,dirt or worms?
That was the viewpoint of the dandelion. What it didn’t know was that the humans were going to work,school,church, and places to have fun. They left their house every day from the front door which the dandelion had never seen.
When the winter came, the sun was often hidden behind clouds and instead of rain, cold white stuff came down and covered the dandelion and all the grass around it. No longer could the dandelion see or hear what was happening on the surface. It could feel only its roots in the dirt. At least part of it was safe. For awhile, it enjoyed this time because the man with the mower wasn’t there to cut it. It felt like one of the worms because it was completely under the dirt and snow. It felt safe there for awhile but eventually missed the sun and wanted to grow as a flower again. It tried not to think about it because it didn’t know if the sun existed anymore or if the snow would ever go away.
Eventually, spring came and the snow was melted away by the sun. The dandelion quickly grew and felt the sun again after such a long time. But, it didn’t know how long this would last. How long would it be before someone came to cut it? How would it know when the sun might hide or when the snow would cover it?
(ending by Poffo)
Then one day, someone kind and wise noticed the dandelion and asking permission from the people in the house, began to gather it up with others of its kind in the yard and put it in a basket with a hundred other dandelions just like it.
They were all scared and nervous and traumatized being cut away from their roots, but they were reassured by a wise old dandelion in the bunch that was older and much larger than all the rest, who told them that other parts of themselves would still live on and grow again because their roots were strong and their essence carried on, even without their “flowering head.” So they all settled down and relaxed and accepted their fate and faced the future without fear.
The basket was carried far away to a warm and cozy house where it was then emptied into a bowl and crushed and boiled and used to make medicine for other humans who were sick. The dandelion felt no pain and became one with the Universe. And even though it was no more, in its final moments it at last understood that its purpose was to help and to heal others.
The End.